05.14.3014: The Chemicals Between Us
Summary: Andraste finally visits Eadric and finds her other brother has also lost himself.
Date: Jan 6 2014
Related: How Not to Bond
Andraste Eadric 

Eadric's Room, Academ, Landing
Included in log.
May 14 3014

It's mid-day and Eadric has not really left his dorm since he finally got it back. He's sitting at a glass table which is tilted up like an easel and rather high. He's sitting on a high back tall chair and leaning against the table. He's sweatpants that clearly do not fit him, they are far to big. His shirt follows suit by being a dark grey tent on his skinny form. His hair is all over the place and he's clearly not shaved yet today. He has dark circles under his eyes and his right arm is cradled against his midsection. He's staring at some equations and drawings of some cybernetics.

Academ. It's not a place you would generally find Andraste- willingly. The woman is a creature honed by steel and battle. The eldest Mordain took the brunt of physical prowess, Ioan took the rest, leaving Eadric… the mind. Even during childhood, between the distance of years and interest, Andi could find little in common with her younger brother. Ioan, at least, was willing to ride horses and stage mock battles in the fields with the other kids of the caravan. Her attempts to get Eadric to ride and work with the horses were always met with failure.

Still, Ioan got under her skin a bit and now, with lips pursed in contemplation… Andraste knocks upon the door. She stands firm, in an all-black outfit broken only by the tan jacket with a high collar. It lies partially open; showing the pair of rings that rest upon cord at her collarbone.

Eadric frowns as he glances over a piece of code and then there is a knock and he sighs. "I said I don't want your cookies!" He snaps at the door. He pushes himself up and shuffles towards the door with his super drake slippers and opens the door. "I don't…

He stops and stares at his sister. It's been so long that he saw her. "I assumed you just died and forgot to tell anyone." He leaves the door open when he turns and moves back to his glass table with the information on the cybernetics he's working on. "How can I help you, sister?" His voice is much deeper than it was last time he talked to her. Even his crystal blue eyes are different, they are world weary and tired. He appears to have had it rough lately.

The initial greeting — if it could even be called such — is enough to earn a wince out of Andraste. She bites the inside of her cheek, hands tucking into the pockets of her jacket. She takes Eadric in- even as he turns away from her. His hair color much the same as hers was, at one time. She's taken to dying it red since she was a teenager; a desire born of silly feminine girl needs that just became as much a part of herself as the sword that has been left with the Academ guards.

Following him into the room, she casts a brief look around before her own sharp blue gaze returns to him. "I thought I'd come check on you."
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Eadric turns his eyes on her. "You are a few years late, sis." His voice tired as he walks to his small minifridge. He pulls out a cool water and walks over to her holding it out. Her brother was always awkward when it came to talking to anyone. He'd talk to his experiments but rarely to his sister or brother. Ioan tried more than Andraste though since they are closer in age. "I don't have food." He waits for her to take the water before going back to his work and taking a seat. "If you got a limb lopped off, would you prefer functionality and realism or functionality and rocket launchers?"

It's not that Andraste didn't try. Initially, she did. She doted over Eadric when he was little, having been in those years most all girls have where babies are awesome. It didn't last, however, because as he grew… it was clear they had little to nothing in common. Accepting the bottle of water, she holds it awkwardly; one hand still in pocket. Well, for a few breaths anyway.

Uncertain what to say, the woman makes her way towards a bare spot of wall to lean her shoulder against. "I don't need food." The question draws a raised eyebrow as she stares at his back for a moment. "Uhm… rocket launchers wouldn't do me much good against hostiles." Those damned shields of theirs.

Eadric shakes his head. "You could activate an elaborate trap that would put a giant reverse shield around them and slowly have it close in until it crushes them… like a blender." Yes his mind goes dark places. He starts writing with his left hand. He used to be right handed. His writing is awful…it used to be good. To notice, he's not even used his right hand. "I could have more utility in them. Like vibration scanners on the bottom of the foot that would alert your AI's that there might be a cloaked hostile near." He leans over the table. He makes a few notes. "I am more focused on the biomechanical though. Imagine a cybernetic that will grow with you." He nods slowly.

Opening the bottle of water, Andraste tips her chin to stare at it. Her hair falls past her cheeks and shrouds her features somewhat. Taking a sip, the Knight glances up and over to her brother. This is about… as awkward as she had expected.

Drawing in a long breath, she shuffles her feet and tries to stand up a bit straighter. "Most armor can be modified to do those things, can't it? I… I thought our bodies couldn't handle cybernetics that do stuff like that."

Eadric shrugs his shoulders. "They can't. It would tear our biology apart with the amount of mechanical parts that are used. I'm talking more biological than mechanical." He turns to his sister. "Sure it's a pipe dream." He pushes his pen away and stands up. "Don't know why I bother with anything." He walks around the table which has beautiful sketch of a new type of cybernetic. He walks to his drawer and pulls out a black zip bag. He leans forward and puts it between his knees and unzips it. He's still not using his right arm but it's held against his stomach. He pulls out an eye dropper and quickly puts a drop in his eyes. He zips it all back up, puts it away and then moves to his couch to sit down slowly.

"Uhm." Andraste is frowning. She knows she should offer support and yet… she doesn't know exactly how in this situation. "Well… ah, if there is a way, I'm sure you can find it." She doesn't sound entirely confident, but it's clear the lack thereof isn't in him, but in herself. In how she's approaching the situation. Lifting the waterbottle, she drains a fair bit.

The vessel is lowered in time to notice the eyedropper and she frowns. Lips pursed a moment before she draws in a breath and straightens. "Whassat?"

Eadric shrugs his shoulders and keeps his eyes closed while he seems to happily melt into the couch. "Doesn't matter." He speaks quietly to the ceiling. "You know… I always idolized you. You were stronger than I ever was. I tried to be smart enough to match your strength but it never really mattered. I was always the one that never fit. You and Ioan out playin war games while I talked to my dead bat." He sighs quietly. "Why couldn't you have cared just a little…"

"Pretty damn sure it matters," Andraste says, standing up straighter. Her hackles are raised; battle-honed reflexes and a hearkening back to a night so recent. The woman winces at his words and lifts fingers to press into her hair. She hates this. Hates it. She hates being sober. She hates learning that people rely on her. Fingers tighten on the bottle of water, as if will alone could transmutate it into something alcoholic.

"I did care," she hisses finally, looking past him to a point on the wall. "I do care. I just… y'know. I suck at it." Especially since she lost Jonothan. "Eadric, look at me."

Eadric reaches his left hand out and into his couch cushion. He grabs what looks to be dark sunglasses and slips them on. Then he looks at her. "I'm sorry, yo." He rubs his forehead. "I love you and Ioan and all but… I never fit in. I just wanted to make a difference and every time I did I got shut down. Where you two? You joined a war and made a difference." He goes back to reclining back with the sunglasses on. "I don't make a difference. Just a stupid twat with no direction. Weeee."

"Maiden's tits," Andraste mutters, moving to the couch to fall onto it, crossing one leg over the other. "Are you kidding me?" She drains the rest of the bottle of water and tosses it towards a wastebin. She doesn't pay attention to whether it makes it in or not. "You love us, but? Because you turned out different?"

The woman hates this. She hates having to face things. Finally moving to her feet, she turns and points a finger down at her younger brother. "No one said you're stupid except yourself. I came to visit you, not be made to feel guilty for the path my life took. A path, I remind you, that led to watching the love of my life die in my fucking arms." And she turns, heading for the door.

Eadric feels her sit down and almost instantly get up. "The path your life took?" He shakes his head and lies there calmly. "You mean the path you took in your life. You are a soldier and casualties of war are closer to you than many citizens. It is awful and it's not something I'd wish on anyone but welcome to the system wars. People die. More people are going to die. Thousands of people already have and they had family and lovers too." He sounds so very calm. "Love is technically just adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin. I am happy you found appealing chemicals with someone but you will find that again. I know it cause my family deserves to be happy."

Pausing at the door, Andraste draws in a long breath and closes her eyes. She's too sober for this. "Eadric, I could never do…" Her hand waves, absently. Indicative of Academ. "This. Those drawings or whatever? Pure gibberish to me. If you can make cybernetics that can grow with a person or whatever? Great. You'd be doing more for Haven than I ever will. Just because you haven't done something huge and amazing yet- doesn't mean you won't."

However, when he goes into what love is 'just,' her hand shakes as she grabs the doorknob. Tension forms in shoulders and there's nothing else to be said. Nothing else she could say. Instead, she just yanks the door open- perhaps a bit more harshly than need be.

Eadric sits up at the jerking open of the door. "See…you got passion." He waves his hand. "I don't give a fuck anymore. Except when I get to poke Sophia in stomach and she giggles and farts. That's amazing. That's freedom." He pushes himself up and takes a few steps towards his sister. "Don't break my door, yo." He whispers quietly to her. He walks past her back and speaks quietly. "I wish you'd understand how important family was. Then maybe we'd be one." He walks into his kitchen and stares at the fridge. "Aw.. fuck I have no noodles."

Jaw tensing, Andraste stops in the doorway and turns slightly. Her hand stays on the knob as she stares after her brother. "Of course you don't give a fuck, you fool. You're purposefully dosing yourself with shit that takes away those feelings." She's one to talk, in some ways. But she does care about family. They are important.

Exhaling in a huffed sigh, she rolls her eyes heavenward for a few seconds. "If you weren't buying red eye, you'd have food." From inside her jacket, Andraste tugs out a small tablet and types out a few things. "There. Money being transferred to you now. And I swear to the Mother, Eadric, if I find you used it on drugs…"

Eadric turns slowly and stares at her. He shuffles to his jacket and grabs it. "I dose myself because I miss my family and I'm lonely. I don't like those feelings. I'd prefer not to feel them." He shuffles past her and licks his lips. "I'm going to get cinnamon buns. You coming?" He is still wearing his fuzzy drake slippers. He looks hung over at least. He didn't even bring his wallet which is sitting on the table. "Cinnamon buns!"

A part of Andraste is screaming that she should just leave. Let him drown in his misery. She has her own shit to deal with. The woman draws in a slow breath and tugs the door closed behind her once Eadric has walked past. Old habits kick in- the ones that tended to cuts and bruises when their parents were away. The ones that snuck in sweets after dinner. Shoulders hunch and the Knight curls into her coat, trailing after Eadric like a hound keeping watch over his owner.

Eadric walks right outside and into a small cafe that smells delicious. He orders two buns and pulls wrinkled money out of his jacket. He grabs the boxes and walks over to her. "Best. Buns. Ever." He pauses between each word. He opens his box and the scent is overwhelming and sweet. They really are amazing cinnamon buns. He reaches in with his right hand and wiggles it in the box a little before shaking the box and then pulling his hand out. He licks off his fingers and then stares in the box. "Seriously… just get in my mouth." He lifts his eyes, from under his sunglasses to his sister. "So like…what happened?"

The cinnamon bun is accepted and Andraste settles into a chair at a table awkwardly holding it. She's not very hungry. Food just… isn't much her thing. She eats as she has to and that's about it. Instead, she opts to watch Eadric. Her expression is fairly stony, all told. At his question, the woman raises an eyebrow. "What happened with… what?"

Eadric sits down at the other side of the table and goes to trying to cut the bun with his left hand while holding it in place with his left. "Your chemically attractive partner." He was always the science one. "You know.. um… Jo….nathon? Or Pete. I'm not sure, I'm sorry. What happened?" He stabs the bun and raises the whole thing to his mouth off the edge of the fork. He takes a bite and then lowers it.

Any ease that might have started in Andraste is gone and she tenses up again. The woman is actually driven to open the box her bun is in and start eating it slowly. Her nostrils flare at the questions. "Jonothan," she says, gruffly. "And I'd rather not talk about it." Sometimes, she can't even remember how many years it has been. Just enough that the pain is muted, but not gone. She sits up a bit straighter and stares across the table at her brother. "Why didn't you reach out to us? Why do…" she gestures at the sunglasses. "this."

Eadric watches her. "Your stress levels totally went up." He reaches across the table and grips her arm. "They never really leave. Scientifically… his chemicals are still in your system. So … technically, he's still there…a part of you." He pulls his hand back and tries to take a bite of his food again. "Eh?" He points at himself and looks behind himself before he realizes. "OH…" He clears his throat. "You were busy in a war. Ioan was having a kid. I wasn't a distraction either of you needed."

Though she doesn't move her arm from the touch, Andraste does stare at Eadric's hand. Her nostrils flare again and she lifts a hand, gripping at the rings that hang on the cord around her neck. The rings that never got use. "Of course he's still there," she hisses softly. It's a dangerous sort of tone- too quiet, in a sense. "Love isn't just… chemicals. And I'd damn well prefer if you respected that I believe that." She picks at her bun, eating a few bites. There's a bit of a snort. "Family isn't a distraction. For all you know, I could've used one of you, y'know that? Yeah, I fucked up, but it ain't just me. Shit's a two-way street."

Eadric frowns and nods. "Alright. Love." He doesn't sound like he believes it but he'll go with it. "I respect you believe in love." He lifts his fork and takes a bite of the bun. He lifts a brow. "Used me? As what? A meat shield? I'm about as much use in combat as a wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man." He demonstrates. Then he drops his hands and grips his right arm. "I'm useless to a soldier, to knights." He sighs quietly. "I picked up the phone a lot but never dialed. I thought about it a lot but I couldn't bring myself to dial your number. I couldn't ask for help. I was fine ya know. Though…yo, I'm still growing into my clothes." He pats his stomach.

"Not…" Andraste sighs and buries her face in her palm for a moment. The woman's shoulders rise and fall in a heaving sigh. "Not as a meat shield, but as someone to fucking talk to, Eadric." She swears under her breath, glancing up at him. "My damn fiance died and you know who was there for me? Mom, but she just… wanted to talk about horses and…" The woman shakes her head. "Didn't hear from you or Ioan. So of-fucking-course I didn't get ahold of y'all."

Leaning back, she packs up the box. It's pushed across towards Eadric. "Remember, the money I transferred? It's for food. Not fuckin' red eye. Once you're ready to be off that stuff… Lemme know." She stands, brushing off her fingers and adjusting her coat.

Eadric frowns and looks down at his arm. "You lost some of yourself." He says quietly. "I got hurt and no one was there for me. I can't even use my arm for long periods of time because it hurts. I am afraid to not be on this because then I will feel again. I don't know how to cope without it, sis." He hugs his arm to his stomach. "I won't spend your money at all. My choices…my consequences." He sighs quietly and finally lifts his eyes. "I am trying to learn to ride horses. They are so big."

"I didn't even know you got hurt," Andraste says with a huffed sigh. Maybe she did, or maybe the missive got lost. The woman drowned herself in the war- it's a surprise, really, that she doesn't bear replacement parts herself. "You don't know how to cope? Welcome to life, Eadric. I don't know anyone who does, but most of us try anyway. Go to… I dunno, a rehab center. Talk to a doctor or someone."

Brushing back her hair, Andraste shakes her head. "Come back to the Caravan sometime. I'll teach you a bit when I have the time. They're big, but they're smart and gentle." In this, her words do soften. She gestures at her younger brother with an elbow as her hands shove into her pockets. "Use the money for food. I'd just spend it on something I don't need." And this time, she does start to walk away.

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