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| Hut, Honor's Keep, The Vale |
| See log. |
| May 3rd 3014 |
It's been a few days since Cyrielle put in word to the therapists that she was halting her training. It came the morning after the Incident that spread word that a man with a firey aura had let her hut. Canis may know that there were extensive damages and that she's already more than paid for the repairs. Still, however, she has not been seen at any therapy… or on the beaches.
It's morning- past the time she should have met the Ligonier for their polearms training session. The drapes of her hut are drawn closed and the door still holds a singe mark from outside. It is, however, not locked.
The young man has worried after not seeing the other at therapy or for several days for that matter, he's heard the stories about the hut and decided maybe time alone was what she was after. Canis has done this for a few days but his knightly nature does get the better of him when he's stood up for practice. He knew she'd looked forward to it, it's this worry and concern which has him approaching the hut. He will pause looking at the singe mark before he reaches out to knock lightly.
There's a rustling within. The sound of footsteps; slow, heavy ones. A bottle clatters. Soon, the knob turns and Cyrielle appears as the door cracks open. She's wearing rumpled clothing; the usual top and shorts she wears for training and therapy sessions. Her features, however, are pale. Eyes a bit sunken and red. There's an angry, red scratch on one side of her neck and more marks on her upper arms.
Eyes narrowed into the light, she leans a bit more into the darkness. The door edges open a bit further and the room… is a mess. Not just a mess: a damaged wreck. "Canis…?"
Canis stands a step back listening and waiting patiently. The door opens and he takes in the full appearance of the other at first. He nods "Hello Cyrielle." he says friendly though he is worried now confirmed that things aren't well at all. "I got worried when you missed your polearm training after hearing about the hut, may I come in?" he asks her though he'll not press just staying where he is until invited.
"Missed our…" Cyrielle frowns, stepping back to lean against the wall inside the hut. The door falls open, showing more damage. Broken furniture. All the light fixtures broken. The bathroom mirror- broken. There are more singe marks on the inside of the door. Empty bottles and hypos are scattered on the floor. "Fuck… What day is it? I… I thought… I didn't realize Canis."
Bringing her hands up to cover her face, Cyrielle lets out a muffled sigh. "I'm sorry."
The young man does step inside as she moves taking this as a sign he can enter. The knight looks about the place as he does though everything seeming dystroyed but it's not the stuff which he's worried about which can be replaced of course. "It's Wednesday, but dont worry it doesnt matter." he says he'll turn back moving to stand towards the other. "I dont really care about the hut it can be fixed, but I am worried about you. Is there something I can do to help?" he's offering to listen or anything she might need.
"I already sent a message to your sister," Cyrielle says, shoulder leaning into the wall. She's turned slightly away from the Knight, closing her eyes. Even just the sunlight pouring in through the door is too much for her right now. "I've provided more than enough to pay for repairs… and cleanup."
At least she's cleaned herself up. Her appearance is more physical than anything else; her hair is limp, but clean. The clothes rumpled, but not too dirty. There's a drawn sigh and she gives a slight shake of her head. "I made a big mistake, Canis… I don't know if anyone can help."
Canis is already in the hut anyway and though he's watching the other closely as she speaks he nods. He will move and not shut the door but maybe close it a little as to help the other. "That is okay, but maybe we can move you to the family house until proper accommodations can be made?" He turns back "Everyone makes mistakes Cyrielle, but rarely are they un-fixable i'd like to try and help if I can perhaps lend an ear firstly." he smiles though before adding "It'll cost you a trip with me to the doctors hut and allowing to relocate to surroundings that suits a noble woman." he says hoping to at least get a sign of life.
There's a glance over the room and Cyrielle bites into her lower lip. She folds her arms over her chest, fingertips falling into place right around where angry, red marks are. Marks that look much like the half-moon of nails. She stares to the floor and those discarded hypos. "I… I could do that. I might need… a few days or a week. I was thinking…"
Voice trailing off, Cyrielle pushes away from the wall and grasps up a small orb from the damaged desk. She wraps her fingers around it tightly, clutching it in her hand. "I… don't think you can help with this, Canis. Honestly, he might think you-" she cuts herself off, pausing somewhere in the middle of the room. Shoulders slump. "Why the doctors' hut?"
The knight doesnt get the reaction he was quite hoping for but he nods "Well your a guest more so then a student here so you may take anytime you would like." Canis is still watching and listening all the same "As one to another who's felt wrongfully judged i'm not overly worried of late what people think beyond my family and friends." he says though he doesnt pry. "I dont mean to be a pest but i'd like to try and help all the same." he has noticed the room at large and the scratch marks "Trying experience you've had couldnt hurt to get a once over."
Jaw tenses slightly and Cyrielle pushes away from the wall. "I'm just worried that… if word gets out…" She swallows. "I did something… and it hurt Nitrim. He said he won't say anything, but if he.. or someone else…" She's barely talking straight. Has she eaten, or just drank? There's plenty of liquor bottles, but no sign of food. And those hypos are clearly something not quite kosher. Especially at a rehabilitation center. "It's… all superficial," she finally says, glancing to the Ligonier. "But I'll go, so you don't worry."
Canis takes the bits of information he does get which is a start "Okay so Lord Nitrim, I don't think i've met him properly but I know of him. We can hope that word would not spread of whatever happened of course my family and myself will do nothing to hurt your reputation." he says trying to assure. He looks her over once more before reaching to his pocket "I brought you something, your favorite after workout cardboard health bar." he says smiling again he will offer it over "I'll have a proper meal set at the family house it doesn't look like any food is here." the knight nods "Thank you, so this thing which was done you do not think there is any amends for?"
The health bar is accepted with a grimace. Cyrielle just stares it over; holding it in one hand and the orb in the other. It keeps her from trying to fold her arms again, so she shuffles her feet instead. At least she's steady on them; this hasn't changed that. "My brother already offered to spread rumor that it was a band party that damaged the room." There's a brief tug of lips at the thought, but she looks towards the Ligonier again. "Your sister won't be bothered by your inviting me to dinner, will she?"
The last draws a pensive look and with a long sigh, Cyrielle shrugs. "I… I don't know. I hope so, someday, but I can't say for sure."
The knight watches knowing it's not much of a meal really but it was something. The story of the band part gets a small smile from him as well "That lunatic Canis Ligonier seems a good target as well i've heard he's trouble." he adds after a moment he shakes his head "I cant imagine why she would would be bothered." he says about his sister "I believe i'm doing what she'd do." he says with a shrug "If not i've been in trouble with her plenty lately anyways." he says though no laugh this time he's looking across to the other "I have been learning a hard lesson lately that sometimes caring for someone is allowing them space even if it means they face trouble alone." he says "I imagine that in time when a clearer head can win out it will be a hard conversation what ever the event that caused the rift but it'll be repaired."
"I already came clean with him," Cyrielle says as she starts to nibble at the bar. It's slow going, but with a body full of liquor and drugs… likely this is the best thing for her. Pure nutrients. The woman shakes her head, looking to the cracked orb in her hand. It was, when she first arrived… on a necklace. "It was… one of the most difficult things I've ever done, Canis. That talk. Seeing what I'd done to hurt him."
Fingers close around the orb and she glances up towards him. "I know I need to leave him alone to let the healing begin, but… all I want is to run to him and beg forgiveness."
Canis the knight shuffles his footing a bit though but he pushes to take a few steps away from where he'd been standing towards the other more conversational distance between proper friends. "You started with the truth Cyrielle however hard you showed strength and courage, I think that will make all the difference he learned about this whatever happened from you, it's a good first step though it seems small now." He will smile as she takes a bite of the bar hoping it will help. "It's tough trust me, and please don't repeat this, I feel the same way with Brienne i've been telling myself that I am just her best friend, but who am I trying to convice. When she told me that she had finally seen me as the one she loved I nearly crumbled each time after that it's not gotten easier." he shakes his head "I'm here to try to help you ignore me. The point being that it's hard but it sounds to me like the wait will be worth it to you."
"We women are poison," Cyrielle mumbles, morose. Her shoulders slump and she leans back against the battered desk. The wood creaks and there's a few cracks in the damaged piece of furniture. She takes another bite of the bar, exhaling a small sigh. "You deserve someone who can see how important you are to them right away, Canis. I'm sure your family would agree."
The orb is still held, but turned slowly between fingers. "There's been so much waiting already. I feel like a beaten dog, just waiting to be thrown some scraps sometimes."
"I do not think so, i've quite enjoyed being able to become your friend thus far." Canis says to her words countering them with a noble grin coming to his face. He will listen to her words and give a small nod to them all the same. "Yes quite, especially Ines I told her once I was going to be Brie's best friend because it was all I had to offer. I could tell by the look on her face she hated that I thought that." he listens to the rest though silent. "If I can ask why all the waiting? I mean if what happened has driven a wedge between you then you were close." he ponders a moment "He should be so lucky to have your favor."
"I mean… waiting in general. His father was aware of us for a while and tries to keep us separate. Now my father knows and…" Cyrielle gestures with the bar after taking a small bite. Once she swallows, she continues: "Nothing. No banns, no mention of potential future banns… but also not a denial." The woman pushes from the desk and a drawer falls out, hitting the floor solidly.
"It's this damn holding pattern. It's why… I'm working towards being a Captain again. Trying to walk. Im… improving. I feel restless." Cyrielle finishes the bar and brushes her fingers against her thigh to free them of crumbs. "And then I got worried… I thought he was hiding things from me. Pushing me away. I was depressed and… I fucked someone, Canis." The admission comes very quietly. "I don't… know if I can ever fix it. I'll spend the rest of my life trying, if I have to."
Canis listens to the other a moment as she explains the waiting "Hm was he afraid to settle down?" he wonders about this waiting with no answer or any moving forward. "You are doing great Cyrielle truly." he says about her improvement in walking and with plans to learn to fight with polearms and the like. The but comes though as she continues and he's back looking over the other a moment. He isnt expecting the admission when it comes so it strikes him hard well it's earily familure to a talk he once had but this time he recovers. "Your human Cyrielle and everyone wants to feel connected at some point or feels lonely, while I understand why that hurt both of you it can be worked through. It will just take time for wounds to heal and the conversation to start." he wasnt expecting the others words but he's glad to hear what happend so he can help.
"Nitrim wants to be wed as badly as I do," Cyrielle says, moving absently to start gathering her things. She's checking hypos, tossing them in her bag as well if they aren't empty. The liquor is well and truly gone, so the empty bottles remain. All the while, she holds that orb. "It's… our fathers who don't agree. But I'm… I'm not going to stop looking forward to it." Whether Nitrim will… that's another story.
She looks over towards Canis and open her mouth to speak, but it falls closed again. Cyrielle sinks to the bed again and slouches forward, back curving as she leans upon forearms draped over her knees. "Yes, I'm human, but that doesn't excuse my behavior, Canis. It wasn't right. I let myself be taken advantage of when I was weak… That's… how the fuck am I to know I won't be weak again?" He might, might hear her mutter 'fuckin' Valta' under her breath.
The knight watches the other still worried perhaps she'll do something drastic given the topic of conversation. "This generation of ours is going to be leading things one day. It seems we will be figthing long held mistrusts and otudated dogma." he says with a sigh as she speaks of parents being in the way. "If you two are happy, I see no reason why you should be able to marry one another." he watches her start to say something but stop "What is it?" he'll ask but nodding to her words "You were at your lowest and feeling betrayed when happy with Lord Nitrim nothing like that happend, you would do just fine I am sure. If we're speaking hard truth's, I have never uh done that atol myself, but it doesnt mean i've not felt lonely. It's a human thing." he says with a small shrug. "Do you need help packing?" he takes a step closer as he asks and it's this that allows him to hear what she mutters he cant help but slip "Valta?" hoping not to hear a certain name.
"Fuck! Right?!" Cyrielle throws her hands up over her head before falling back on the bed. She bounces slightly with the force. "We're some fuckin' advanced society, but we still gotta get permission from our parents to be wed. We're old enough to die for Haven, but we're not allowed to choose who we spend the brief lives we have with."
She lifts an arm and lets it fall over her forehead. "Ain't much to pack," she mutters, exhaling a long sigh. There's a wince as he catches her words. "Yeah… Young Fucking Lord Kieran."
Canis listens to her words and does agree with him indeed "It's quite true, I would be a hero if I fell in battle defending Honor's Keep, but I brught shame to it before now." he shakes his head at the notion. "I've fought and bled for haven and will do so until I cannot anymore, I can only hope for a change in my lifetime." when she speaks the name he winces as well "Not a fan of that one I had an eerily similar conversation to this once about him." he sighs but shakes it off. "The secret is safe with me, I promise."
"Not surprised," Cyrielle says with a slight, choked laugh. She doesn't move her arm, remaining flopped back. "Brienne, I'm guessing? Last I saw Kieran, he was telling me how he was doing his best to change for her and… well, all the rumors I keep hearing, I'm guessing something didn't work out on either end."
The Hollolas finally pushes herself upright and gets back to packing slowly. "Don't tell Nitrim… I know he'd blame Kieran, but I don't think that'd be right. This is my fault. I'm the one that fucked everything up." Tears sting at already-raw eyes and she braces herself against the bedpost for a moment, biting into her lip.
"Quite correct, told in the same moment, but he'd asked for a marriage and that she'd slept with him." Canis says though he wont get into his response on that day it's lead to much trouble since but oh well. He does straighten his face though "I wont tell him anything Cyrielle." he says more sincerely wanting her to understand that he means his words. He is watching "Hey, don't beat yourself up it wont help." he says and closes the distance he'll reach out either to give a one armed hug or to steady her if she'll allow.
"This is why…" Cyrielle sighs and shoves things into her bag; careless about organization. Dirty clothes get shoved in alongside clean. "Well, I'm not one to give advice on relationships, obviously, but why I said she was bad for you." The woman glances over to Canis and accepts the hug- or steadying, whatever it may be. She leans into him slightly and snorts a bit, "I deserve it, Canis. I deserve everything coming to me."
Canis does eng up giving her a hug with a small squeeze as she leans over it's good to have someone after all. He will look back to her as she snorts though and shake his head "You made a mistake Cyrielle everyone does, but beating yourself up like this is like hitting your head on a wall, and then trying it again just to make sure it doesnt feel good the second time around." he says thinking of something to compare it to. "You've lived and and learned from this you will bounce back, and I do hope he sees reason in the end."
"And if he doesn't?" Cyrielle brings a hand up to press palm into eye socket. Trying to stem the flow of tears. She allows Canis to continue to support her. It is nice. Right now, it's nice to know that maybe… people still like her. The woman has been expecting hatred and while she knew Ephraim would support her — closest family member and all — she wasn't sure about others.
"And what if he doesn't? What if he can't forgive me, Canis? I'll spend the rest of my life feeling this way."
The young knight stays put on firm ground wishing to help and glad to be at least trying to do some good the best he can. Canis watches over to her as she speaks again and the question is a hard one. "If he doesn't, then he's making a mistake not seeing that your right in front of him and a great catch." he is silent though as he listens but does shake his head. "You wont Cyrielle if feels like it now, but time has a way of making us whole, and you have friends and family who care about you who will help you through the time now. Like myself for one."
"I… I don't know if I am," Cyrielle says with a soft breath. "If I was so great, Canis… why would I have done this?" She pushes away from the Ligonier Knight finally and gets to her feet, finishing with packing up the bag. "I don't know why you're supportive of me, Canis. I… was half-expecting you to slap me or demand I leave Honor's Keep." Ironic name indeed.
Canis looks back to the other properly "Well I certainly think you are. One wrong choice doesnt make you a bad person, and the fact your wanting to fix things speaks more about being good at heart." He will step back as she pushes off from him to stand though he's not really gone far. "Many people were not fans of mine when I messed up with Brie. I know it's important to have people to stand by. You've done nothing wrong to me." he says evenly the next part gets a raised eyebrow "Why would I do that?" he cannot understand.
"Messed up with Brie?" Cyrielle stares over towards Canis for a moment. "Look… I've talked to you, Kieran, and Advent." All three of those involved with the Arboren noblewoman. "How did you mess up? By expressing an interest in her and reacting when she showed one in you… for a while at least?" She's a bit on edge; it's easy to set her off. The woman grabs her bag, but the weight stops her and she catches her hand on the bedpost to steady herself. The nutrient bar is the first real food she's had in days…
"Why? Because I fucked another nobleman, on your family's lands, when I've promised myself in every way except the legally accepted one to someone else."
"I went about everything all wrong ways and it just ended badly for all involved." Canis explains what he meant by his words though as he watches her try and carry the bag he frowns slightly but will step over "I'll carry it." he offers to pick the bag only pausing to answer the other he frowns slightly "Yes, and I am offering to help you and want to be a friend on or off my family lands. If it's possible i'll help with fixing things." he says more firmly.
Pressing fingers to her hairline, Cyrielle tries to run her fingers through the damp locks. Her hand catches and she drops it to her side with a frustrated sigh. There's a sidelong glance to Canis and before he takes the bag, she's grabbing a hypo. She'd started to feel it leaving her; the woman is more on the drug than she had been previously. The hypo is primed and pressed to her forearm, releasing with a hiss.
"Please don't tell anyone about this either," she murmurs, looking somewhat downtrodden. The woman closes her eyes, letting the drug settle in. "I'm… not sure what would help. But if you think of something…" She swallows.
Canis watches the other as he moves and grabs the bag holding it easily enough. The young knights eyes widen a bit as he watches her. "I wont Cyrielle of course not, but if you do wish to stop we can help you with that here." He says with a small shrug might as well offer since he's already right here trying to help. "I will certainly try to think of something, in the mean time you have an willing ear and a distraction. We can still teach you trident fighting."
"Thanks." Cyrielle's eyes open again, pupils shrunken as she tucks the hypo back into the bag. The woman steps back, giving Canis room to heft it. She's a bit steadier, but not entirely. She scoops up the orb from where it was discarded on the bed, letting it roll into her palm whre she clutches it tightly.
"I'm… going to take a hiatus in a few days, Canis. I need to… get some thinking done. Do you think you can keep my things here, until I return? Once I do, I promise I'll train in earnest."
Canis gives the other a small smile "Not a problem of course." he says about the bag though he watches after she has taken the drug and it's only his eyes that betray his worry and concern but as she speaks he looks back nodding "Of course your things will be up at the main house. I'll have your room readied as well." he says this one is simple "If you'd like to go sailing my well the family boat is up for use as well." He offers.
The Hollolas manages a small smile for Canis, reaching out to squeeze his arm in appreciation. Though it lingers seemingly a bit long, but then her hand retracts suddenly. As if it were calculated and timed.
"I may see about renting a boat," Cyrielle admits, shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. "Take it up the coast a ways. Explore The Vale a bit. This is… the longest I have ever been in the lands."
The young Ligonier smiles in return as she squeezes his arm, but he also listens nodding his head to what she's got to say. "That sounds like a good plan to clear one's head for sure." Canis says though he'll shift the bag to one arm he'll offer the other only if she needs it, either way he speaks "Let me get you settled in your quarters in family house they are always made up and i'll have them set you up for dinner we can do the doctors tomorrow." with this either helping or walking beside her he will lead her from the depressing hut and to the family home.