03.14.3014: Soothing the Sting
Summary: Lady Sir Brienne asks to meet and speak with Lord Sir Advent over issues that have arisen and attempts to resolve a sting.
Date: 07.12.2013
Related: None
Brienne Advent 

Lower Courtyard - Palace Towers, Landing
Up a small incline from the Grand Esplanade, through the portcullis's intricately wrought gates, is the Lower Courtyard of the Palace Towers. It is a large, sprawling space of laid stone walkways and grassy patches of lawn. Stone benches carved with the Sauveur Eagles are scattered throughout the courtyard to provide places to sit and converse. At the center of the courtyard is a baroque-styled fountain carved with a statue effigy of the First King Matthias Sauveur. Cultivated around the fountain is a rose garden where some of the finest blooms in all Haven can be found.

The Courtyard leads to the three major towers of the Sauveur seat. Directly before it, looming with its grace and magnificence is the Royal Tower. It hosts the entire Sauveur family and is also the location of the Grand Hall and Royal Libraries. To the Royal Tower's left is the Embassy Tower which provides housing and comfort for the Paramounts of Haven and their vassal houses. Each floor in the Tower is dedicated to each House, with the Paramount floors being the most grandeur. Opposite of the Embassy Tower is the Senate Tower which is where sessions are held and hosts the senatorial offices and apartments. Skyways are evenly spaced up the two auxillary towers, connecting them to the Royal Tower.

March 15th 3014

Brienne had sent a message ahead of time using her brand new and fully operational datapad, requesting the Sauveur to meet her in the courtyard if that was acceptable to him. For once, she is not dressed in her usual tunic or pants and boots. She wears a soft dress, the material in green, that form gently to her curves. Her blade is also left at home, leaving her hands free except a small bag she holds. She arrives on time and remains standing as she waits.

The large courtyard is busy with people coming to adore the gardens and the blooms around the fountain. Advent was surprised when he received the message from Brienne but being a gentleman he would not keep her waiting. He exits the Royal Towers, wearing simple pants and a white tunic. His head bows to people who greet him. The grin that plays over his lips is practised and tight. His hands are clasped in front of himself as he walks. He bows his head to Brienne, "Lady Sir Brienne, what can I do for you?" His tone is warm but quiet.

Brienne notices his arrival before he gets to her and she clasps her hands behind her back, looking somewhat uneasy, but trying not to. When he greets her, she offers a respectful now of her head, erring on the side of caution she provides the title with her greeting as well. "Lord Sir Advent, it is good to see you again." That was indeed true. Bracing herself for rejection, she offers a warm and apologetic smile. "I wanted to apologize for.. what I have done. I understand it may mean little to you, though I was… unaware my mother had summoned you to Arboren and then I had made little time for you. Though I do seek forgiveness, I do not expect it. I was out of line and my heartfelt apology is all I have to offer you in return."

Advent tenses at the mention and his grin falls slowly before it's brought back. "Lady Sir Brienne, I cannot hold a grudge against a woman who followed her heart." His eyes turn to the floor and he inhales slowly, composing his answer. "It is what we all wish - to have love in marriage." He finally lifts his face again, keeping his eyes on her own this time. "Apologies do not mean little to me. I thought having spent sometime with you, you'd see sincerity and honest means everything to me. You acted from your heart, Lady Sir Brienne." He keeps the titles clearly uncomfortable to go to informal. "Had I known earlier others were… I wouldn't have… gotten tied up in it." He takes a step back and bows his head again. "I apologize for putting you in such a position."

"I wasn't.. when I was talking to you. I wasn't.. I mean.. there was no one else I was talking to… The rumors are not all true, Sir Advent. Of course you have only my word on that and at the moment it is not worth much. I.." Brienne is finding it more difficult to speak with him in the face of his disappointment. "O course I saw sincerity and honesty in you, perhaps you can appreciate then when I tell you what honestly happened. Lord Densoric had just been all over me about a match, and then I had met you and on top of meeting Canis just after, I was overwhelmed. Marriage is a scary thing and I knew it would ever be my mother's decision who I would eventually matched with." When he takes a step back and apologizes, she looks pained, closing her eyes and forcing a deep breath before opening them again. "You are in no way at fault, Sir Advent. I assure you."

He takes a break. "Not all true. I believe that is the part the hurts the most." He listens to her explanation. "I am at fault, Lady Sir Brienne. I enjoyed your company so much that I felt very strongly too quickly and that is not fair. I heard the rumors of your mother meeting my uncle." He takes a moment to breathe. His brow is furrowed and his eyes distant. "I did not know he did what he did on behalf of me. When I heard the rumors, when I saw Lord leaving your chamber, I wanted to leave the flowers I had gotten for you but I felt it would be… inappropriate so I came home with them and it must have been my demeanor. I apologize for bringing this onto your shoulders. I should take more care in controlling my outward emotional reactions." His brow becomes less furrowed though his eyes stay distant.

Hurts the most. Only then does Brienne realize she had hurt him. For a long moment, she attempts to get her thoughts together, to realize what she thought he wasn't saying instead of all that he was. Her hand lift to idly tuck stray strands of hair behind her ear. Never had she assumed the ramifications of what she had done would be so far reaching. Her expression echoing her dismay, she regards him in silence, unable to formulate anything that would even make a dent in the damage she had done. "Flowers," she finally whispers softly. "I.. didn't know, Advent." Forgetting to use a title. "I wasn't aware of.. what you felt." And why was he blaming himself? "The damage is irreparable and she knows it, but there is little she can say or do. Nothing will change what she had done. Seeing the distance in his eyes, her own lower and she looks so very uncertain. "The fault lies solely with me, please do not blame yourself."

The Sauveur stands there quietly while people pass them and leave them in peace. He looks away when she looks down. "That is why this is my fault. You didn't know. I didn't tell you my intentions or I just wasn't clear enough or I said it wrong. That being said, you didn't know so how could it ever be your fault?" His voice comes out quietly. He keeps his hands clasped tightly in front of himself. "What I feel… it will heal in time. I just ask that you be happy, find someone that treats you right and loves you. I will be content to know you are loved." He lifts his eyes and lets the corner of his lips turn up to a one sided warm grin. The warmth is fleeting and his blue eyes are hiding something painful to him but he's trying to make it less awkward in conversation at least.

Brienne lifts her chin and sees him looking away, hears him still blaming himself. "No.. no. I was blind. I got used to Lord Densoric being all up in my face telling me exactly what he wanted. I just.. sort of expected that. No one is really.. slow or casual about anything anymore, that I have met. I'm so terrible at reading people." Wait a minute, she stops, hearing the words finally. She takes a hesitant step towards him only to stop again. "What you feel, Advent? You.. still feel?" Words from her mother drift through her thoughts. "I want you to heal, and I want to be there to help you, if you would allow me to." One more step towards him and she reaches out a hand, palm up, offering it to him. "Nothing is easy.. I have discovered nothing at all is. Will you give me a chance to prove to you I was the person you always thought me to be?"

The man sees her move forward and the man who would face down a hostile without a hint of fear…that face shows fear now even with her palm up. He keeps his hands together and he tries to keep that grin but it's breaking, twitching and his eyes are unfocused. "What I feel burns inside of me right now. What was a spark has become more, causing pain where it touches. I read somewhere that love will either warm your heart or burn your house down. It's the latter for me right now. I'm sorry." He takes a step back repeating that he's sorry. He finally stops and keeps his eyes on her. "I have seen you in battle, defending your home, Haven, people, with courage and a fierceness that only someone with valor and love could do. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough. You don't need to prove anything to me. I'm nobody. I hope everything works out for you. If you ever need me to fight by your side, I will always be your friend and a knight that will support you."

Dropping her hand to her side, Brienne closes her eyes, surprised by the burning prickling sensation behind them. As he speaks she remains just like that, until he is finished. When she opens them again, she doesn't look away. "I never intended on hurting you, Sir Advent." Realizing now it truly was too late and the damage had fully been done. He had backed further away and she inclines her head, showing her acceptance. "What you say is untrue though. You are indeed somebody. I just didn't know it until now." After a few heartbeats in which she remembers the look on his face, the worry, hears once more the words he had said when she had been injured after the visit to the resort and they were on the boat.. his concern had been for her, not his relative. Why had she forgotten that? "It will not work out for me, Sir Advent. Like you, I must also learn to forget, for my mother has deemed it so. However, I hope you find every happiness you deserve in life. Thank you for affording me your time. Be well and should you ever need a friend to talk to.. send me a message."

He's listening to her but something she says actually makes a pained sound pass his lips. He looks like he's been physically struck in the stomach. The grin is destroyed and he takes a step back trying to control his breathing. It takes him a moment but he finally speaks, "I will speak to your mother and my uncle. I will make sure you get your happy ending." His voice is shaking and his visage finally breaks and he brings his hand up to cover most of his face and he speaks from behind it. "I will some how get you to the one you care for. Name the one you love and I will make sure you are matched."

Hearing the sound, Brienne step one foot forward, wanting to comfort him, but stops herself, knowing he would only withdraw from her again. Uncertainly she looks at him and cannot help it, she finishes the movement and gently touches his forearm. "Advent," she whispers, "No. I am going to do as my mother intended in the first place.." She winces.. "No, that is untrue. Originally, my mother wanted me to have a match with you and I was unaware… so since that is now impossible, I will do as requested from my House and wed the match she intends for me." Seeing his reaction, she knows she is only prolonging his pain and her own. "Th.. thank you. For everything."

Advent flexes at her touch but doesn't pull away from her. He moves his hand and looks at her with a very controlled expression, eyes glassy. "Lady Brienne, find the one you care for the most and then marry them. Don't ask permission… do it and ask forgiveness. My sister did that. She went for Cedric. Married him. Made it happen. You need to do the same, Lady Brienne. It's an uphill battle but you have the strength to survive it. You will always be dear to me, maybe not as…." He stops abruptly and starts skipping a train car or two. "You deserve happiness." His voice barely over a whisper. "I was hoping I would one day be the one that would make you smile but I am not that one. I hope you find him. He will be a lucky man." His voice shakes at the last word but he doesn't yet move back.

Brienne doesn't move back despite knowing she was only prolonging the misery he shows, the pain he feels. "I will not. I have more honor than to succumb to my own selfish wishes, to say my House be damned… Would that not be against who I am? The honorable person you know me to be?" That wasn't her wishes at all, she realizes now. Pained, she tightens her hand involuntarily. What was she doing? Stronger, she tilts her head and looks at him. "You deserve happiness. You deserve it above all. Spend time with me, please. Allow me to know you again. Give me a chance to know you while knowing your intentions."

Advent nods slowly. "You are right. You love your House more than yourself even if you are a large part of that house." He frowns at her statement and pulls his arm from her touch. "You've already…" He calms his breathing. "I can face an army of Hostiles. I can battle through the elements to save a life and yet… I do not have the courage to face you." He turns slightly, away from her. "My hope when I was in Arboren is that you would know me without knowing my intentions so you did not feel put upon. So that you could relax and you could be yourself. I surely was. All I spoke was honesty." He lifts his chin while taking a calming inhale, holding it and exhaling slowly. "A second time…would feel rehearsed, forced even." He brings his hand to the back of his neck. "I… no longer… have intentions. With anyone. For anything. It was not your fault. I attempted to court another before I was told she would be my wife but she would not love me and her love was for the stable boy. I left that arrangement and felt that being forward meant less sincerity. It took almost a year before I spoke to another woman in such a way and that was you. I don't think I'll ever be ready any more. I will be your friend, a knight at your side, but I can be no more. Trust though, I will be nothing to many ladies. I will focus on battle and family. Anything else is selfish for me." He bows his head. "Thank you for coming to see me…"

Again when he withdraws from her, Brienne inclines her head. "I understand," she tells him grimly, her expression one of acceptance, her whole demeanor changing before him. The warmth in her eyes turns just a little cooler, not towards him, but turned inwards, towards herself. Her posture stiffens, she straightens, tilts her chin up just so, gathering herself together, placing a few walls around. "I would never again force my presence on you, and should we meet again, should our paths cross, I would not wish to be the bearer of your pain. I am sorry for what I have done. I cannot change the past and I cannot alter the present to make the future something more. It has been a pleasure knowing you, My Lord, I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors." After executing a very stiff and proper bow, Brienne does an about face, heading back towards the Ways.

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