I Need a Vacation
Summary: Jane sends a letter to her parents letting them know she'll be coming home.
Date: 4 September 2013
Related: Her Damask Cheek, To Great Escapes

8 September 3013 — HAG Headquarters - Phylon

To: Margaret.Wyre@Southern_Wilds
From: Jane.Wyre@Phylon


I know it's been about three hours since I've responded to you, so don't panic or anything but I've been busy. Anyway, I'm just writing to let you know that all of your guilting has taken its toll, and so I have decided to take a vacation. Let it not be said that I, Jane, am the most ungrateful daughter in the world; rather, maybe I can just take second place to some other more selfish girl.

Glibness aside, I will see you in about two days as it will take some time and some magic on part of my personal assistant to reschedule all of my work. I will see you on the 10th, and I totally expect a new dress waiting for me in my bedroom like usual. (Just because I'm in second place doesn't mean that I'm willing to sacrifice free haute couture.)

Your loving daughter,


P.S. When you see me, please do not remark on how I have gained weight or I look haggard. I know all of this, but corsets and cosmetics go a long way to keeping me in denial and I don't need you ruining my delusions.

P.P.S. There's a guy. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

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