Falling Apart
Summary: Some old band buddies come over to jam with Sean
Date: 13 Sept. 2013
Related: Silence, Falling Apart, Hanging, Easier To Be
Sean 


25 September 3013 — Sean's loft


As Sean has thought it over and over, he wants to continue making music, and while he loves bassstyle and still dabbles with a mix here and there, there's a new found desire to for him to make songs with lyrics. He's been having thoughts recently and there have been some good lyric ideas he's had. A couple friends from academ have come over today with their instruments and some time in the library with a former lyricist buddy helped Sean to hash out four good starts.
Sean picks up his bass and they all tense ready for the count to hit, when he makes the first stroke they start. Piano and guitar take lead, Sean waits for his cue when it comes his voice picks up. A slight rasp to it, but pitched just right:

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

Sean picks up his part, and the drums have joined in. He continues to sing, flowing right into chorus. He rocks slightly as he feels the emotion that lends his voice a certain sincere quality as if he's singing to a person only he can see.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart, that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on… I'm holdin' on… I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The music continues to play, the somber sounds from the guitar and bass, the sad accompaniment of the piano, and the rhymic lull of the steady drums work to give the piece a sense realism. Sean's eyes close for a moment as he sings, then he opens them and looks straight ahead at the person only he can see.

The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

Sean's eyes open and focus on one spot as he sings the chorus again. The music building in depth as the refracted light of Oculus glows in through the window, bathing the makeshift band take on an ethereal quality.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart, that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name… I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (backups sing an echo)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely… holdin' on to you…

There's a moment's pause from Sean, as the music hangs in the air, then his voice registers again. It's a soft sound, as if he's asking something with his words.

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on the words you say
You said I will, will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway, left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, have forgott'n my way home

I'm fallin' apart…. barely breathing
With a broken heart, that's still beating
In the pain… is there healing?
In your name… I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely… holdin' on to you…

The music ends after a moment. The band takes a break for drinks and using the bathroom. Peny shows up, first time in days, and stops just inside the door. She looks at Sean, "What's going on?" Sean walks over and hugs his sister, "I'm working on something… I was hoping to get some band members and do something." he gives his sister a kiss on the cheek.

Peny looks at Sean for a moment, "What inspired this?" Sean shifts a little, knowing the answer will cause two reactions… unavoidable so he tells her. "Riv." a simple but oh so explanative answer. Peny's eyes alight with an 'I told you so' look and she smirks. "FINALLY!" she cries out to the ceiling, and looks at Sean. "I was afraid I was going to have to chat with her… I mean, come on. Was it her or you that took forever?" Sean chuckles softly, "Me." Peny thumps his chest softly, "You dolt, you could have saved yourself all this trouble if you'd listened to your sister in the first place. Now, what are we playing?" Sean turns and has Trix do a play back, as Peny listens her eyes go slightly wide but she smiles and hums along with the tune. She turns and smiles at Sean, "That's beautiful… are you going to rehearse some more?" Sean says, "Yeah, we've got a few to try today, you can stay and listen if you'd like."

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