09.25.3013: Easier To Be
Summary: Rivea shows up at the loft after Peny's messages, happens in while Sean is already starting to sing
Date: 13 Sept. 2013
Related: Silence, Falling Apart, Hanging
Sean Rivea 

Sean's Loft
A wide open area with a few thin support beams here and there, there is a window out to space for a decent view of Oculus. There is a small kitchenette just in and to the left of the sliding titanium firedoor. The shaping of the bulkheads is visible as there was no attempt to cover them. The kitchenette has an oven with two electric ranges on top, a short fridge and freezer, and some counterspace with a coffee maker and a sink.

There are a myriad of desks, with a single super comfy and cool looking highbacked chair, off to one side of the room. There is one decently sized monitor, a myriad of projectors and speakers, and a vast assortment of tools for the techie trade. Behind the desks against the wall are several racks of infosphere host terminals and processor blocks, wires running between them with an almost OCD organization to them. Also in this main room is a projector pointed at the window, with a large pleather couch facing it as well. There are some smaller tables and racks for a sound system that surrounds those sitting on the couch, or standing up before it.

25 September 3013

The band has been playing for a few hours today after lunch, Peny cooked a nice light dinner for everyone and now they're getting ready to play again. Sean's up on his stool facing Peny, they'd been able to shuffle around so that they faced the door more and that allowed them to move the couch a bit so that Peny could sit there and watch. The band starts up with a slow acoustic and slightly rustic sound. Sean waits for his cue and when it comes his voice is slightly raspy but stronger after a day of singing practice.

Chasing fireflies
Elusive dreams
This pre life crisis
Is killing me
Beautiful tragedy
Who I was wasn't me

Yeah yeah

The band members start in the background picking up singing softly, "Do do do do, aahhh ahh" Peny just sits on the couch listening to her brother singing and playing with his friends.

Rivea presses the button to enter, saying "Trix, it's Rivea. I'm here to visit Sean and Peny. Are they home?

The door opens for Rivea to show the room, the makeshift band, and Sean staring right at Rivea as he continues to sing.

You make it easier to be
Easier to be me
It's hard to believe

It felt like the world
Fell from my feet
Gave up on myself

You didn't give up on me
Let myself go
You were still there
Like coming home
Coming up for air

Yeah yeah

The band harmonies again, "Do do do do…. aaahhhh ahh" Peny turns around as she notices Sean's gaze focusing a little while he sings. Her jaw drops as she sees Rivea standing there. Quickly she waves Riv over to sit by her while turning back to see Sean smile a little as he sings the next portion of the song.

Rivea smiles, waving back at Peny, moving to take a seat near her. "So, this is his new group you 'accidentally' sent the video of, hmm?" nudging her with an elbow. "At least he's in a better mood, now."

You make it easier to be
Easier to be me
It's hard to believe
Easier to be

The music continues on softly for a moment before they stop and Sean turns around to speak with the others. Peny turns a sheepish grin to Rivea, "I'm really sorry about that… Sean got really nervous when he found out. He's really scared you know, I don't think I've seen him tremble like that before." Peny looks over at the other friends of his, "Those are some old friends from a school band and another band he was in, and then two from school only I think. Sean's been spending a lot of time with this old lyricist buddy of his who wrote these for Sean. Aaaaand, he's been in such a great mood since the other night." Peny turns to look back at her just as Sean turns back around and the band starts to play another song. "I heard you two went on a date, so… tell me about it."

Rivea says, "We went shopping, I helped him pick out some clothes." furrowing her brow a moment, "Not that much of a date, I suppose. I don't think I've ever helped someone pick out clothes before, it was…different." Looking back at the group playing, "I like this better than the techno music." a lot better than that other stuff he used to play.

"Oh? I heard there was more to it than that… something about dinner, and a movie?" Peny's eyes narrow slightly at Rivea, "Aaand, did you kiss him yet?" She's being relentless, the model only turning as Sean's slightly raspy voice picks up after the band's lead in to the song. His song has a touch of longing to it.

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seems so alive.
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

The band starts into the chorus and music gets stronger along with Sean's voice. Picking up the pace a little but really it just has a slightly move driving quality to it.

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me, and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

And certainly Sean's been looking at Rivea whenever he does open his eyes, for now they are closed as he plays his bass.

Rivea says, "NO! Well other than on his cheek. And, I guess I forgot about the movie because after dinner, I think I fell asleep on his shoulder or something….training earlier in the day, always makes me sleepy." glancing at Sean and then away. "I told him, I'm not good at this dating…better at being friends usually."

Peny awws softly at that, "It's okay, Sean's not going to rush you Riv. He really likes you and I don't think he wants to screw it up. Not after, well, you know." She turns to look at Sean again, then back, "Give him a little something to work with though, saying you're not good at this only makes him skiddish. Trust me, guys need to know where the boundaries are or they'll dance on eggshells around you and make you feel awkward."

All of the things
That I want to say, just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me, and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

Rivea says, "Yeah, I know, ok. But by the same token, Peny this is just as awkward for me as it is for him. Especially after the last few days. He's a friend, I like that. The rest of it, I'm not sure about so it's just as hard in it's own way. As any troubles he has and has had. SO I don't know any boundaries to set because I'm not used to dating. He's going to have to deal with that too."

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everthing she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me, and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me, and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
And me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

The music slowly being to fade out, Sean turns around to go speak with his buddies again for a bit. Peny turns to look at Rivea, "He needs to know things like holding your hand in public, what to call you when tell other people about you, if he can hug you and hold for a little while afterward. If he can kiss you, although I think Sean's sort of holding back on that one. He's, well, he's a great kisser but I think he's afraid that if you decided to step back and just be friends, kissing you right now would make it too awkward." Peny sighs, and pats Riv's shoulder. "Seriously, dating Sean is probably the easiest thing to do in this world. All his emotional issues and other stuff, he deals with on his own rather well. I know, he's a bit up and down at times but he's been working on that for a long time and he doesn't really drink a whole lot, despite all the alcohol in the loft." she leans in, "Don't tell his friends, but Sean keeps it around for others, not for himself. He only drinks slightly when others are around, never alone. That he was drunk alone means he made a mistake when he grabbed for something, cause even depressed, Sean won't go near the stuff."

Rivea says, "I held his hand, I'm trying to be open about this. And, you have to admit, even if things don't go any further because I don't change, I don't want him going off the deep-end if I don't and he gets closer, especially after all the stuff that happened with her. So, he's got to think about that from my side, too. I've had one goal for so long, never thought about anything else happening."

Sean seems to be in a heated discussion with his buddies, Peny smiles at Riv "Oh Riv, seriously… if you dated Sean for six years I don't think he'd really mind if you didn't actually fall for him. Now, if you fell for someone else while dating him, that would wreck him a bit. Listen to me, I know him better than he knows himself. I was the one who noticed the way he talked about you when you two first met, I noticed that he kept asking you out… even while trying to fix things with her… and I don't think you know this, but he gave up on her before she gave out. She asked him to wait for her to decide while going behind his back and sleeping with another guy, he gave up on her a long time ago and hearing about that just made him finally pull the bandage off. He's not ready to commit like that, so don't worry, and he needs your help learning to just be… normal again. Give a little of a break, but he'll be here for you no matter what. I'm sure if you explained your goal to him, he'd do whatever he could to help you reach it." Sean stalks off to the kitchen to get the chocolate milk and Peny sighs, "Oh no…"

Rivea sighs as well, "Oh no, what?" following her gaze. "And that's the thing, as well, Peny. If I ere to date him and we dated for six years, I'd be just like her and he'd be in almost the same boat. He knows my goals, I'm pretty sure. I've pretty much had the same one since I was a small child. I'm doing the best I can with what I'm used to doing. Anything else, I have to work at as well." She turns to look t the band and see what they're doing now.

"When Sean drinks chocolate milk, it means something's wrong. Hang on." Peny gets up and goes to speak with Sean in the kitchenette softly, when she comes back she beckons Riv closer. "It seems one of the guys in the band has the hots for you and is asking Sean about you. He's having a hard time telling him to layoff but… I think he needs you to go talk to him."

Now, barely able to avoid letting of a deep sigh, she rises up and goes into the kitchen area. This is exactly why she has been resistant to dating, perhaps Sean but dating in general. she barely knows what she wants and she's not used to being responsible for worrying about the feelings of others. But, she goes in there and asks him what's wrong.

Sean pours another glass of chocolate milk, and looks at Riv. He smiles to her, "Darren keeps asking about you, he's starting to bug is all." Sean offers her some of the milk, "I just, I don't know if you're cool being called 'girlfriend'. I mean, I want to let you get used to this whole thing before there's anything serious, you know?"

Rivea says, "I'm a girl, and I'm a friend, so it works - just depends on how it's used." takes a sip of the chocolate milk and passes it back. "And I'm sure as heck not going to go flirting or anything with anyone the two of us know. And, if I find that I'm thinking about someone else, I'll let you know that too, dude. But by the same token, you can't just keep making me feel like you're well being is based on what we feel about each other. We're gonna be friends no matter what happens here, you gotta start believing that before you believe anything else."

"Right, I know that." Of course he knew this, she's been repeating to him a lot recently, Sean sighs softly, and leans down to place a soft kiss to her cheek. "Thanks Riv, and honestly… you've helped and are helping, but it isn't about dating you. It's about just having you around, part of my life. I want to date you because I like you, and I'd like to see if there can be something more down the line. But, I'm standing here as your friend first, boyfriend second. You're helping me deal with shit as my friend, and I've really enjoyed the couple of dates we've had. Those are fun times, and best had sporadically. So don't worry about seeing me all the time, or going out all the time… just hang around when you'd like to like you would normally."

Rivea says, "I like this music better by the way, than the stuff you were doing before, when I met you. I know I'm too independent and not used to letting anyone else be around where I can depend on them." Poking him in the chest, "I'm trying just like you, I'm just not going to promise anything more than I'll try."

Sean smiles down at Rivea, leaning in to kiss her forehead before returning the carton to the fridge. "Being independent is cool, you're teaching me how to be independent and I've needed to learn for a while. Learning to rely on others is good though, because when times are hard, you'll need someone like needed someone." he looks over at the band for a moment before saying, "And, yeah… I'm trying to remember what it's like to actually date again. I've not dated in a long time, so bare with me and totally thump me if I move to fast or something."

Rivea smiles and laughs a bit. "Oh, I can promise that..and that I'll try not to hurt your squishy butt….relatively speaking. You can tell them whatever you want, just don't want any problems."

Sean hugs her tightly for a moment before heading back over, he says over his shoulder as he walks, "If you look, you'll see that my butt is totally not squishy." with a teasing smile before turning to his friends. He walks back into their circle, they whisper for a time and Peny moves over to stand with Riv, "So… what'd he say?"

Rivea says, "That I've helped and am helping, and if it can possibly be more. And that's he's enjoyed the couple dates we have had, and to hang around whenever I like, like I normally do."

"That's really sweet, and totally come hang out." Peny then leans in close, "If you're lucky, you'll catch him just getting out of the shower… he doesn't cover up." and she winks at Rivea before taking her hand to lead her over to meet the band, "So guys this is Rivea, Riv these are some of Sean's friends."

Rivea waves, "HI, I'm Rivea like she said, Hi Sean's friends' deftly avoiding any remark or gestured and Peny's comment. "Nice Music, you guys are lucky to be together."

"Hey Riv." They chorus together, then one guy in particular seems to perk up a little at Riv's presence, Sean tenses just slightly as he offers her his hand. "Hey Rivea, I'm Darren a pleasure to meet you." Peny stands behind Rivea and stares Darren down hard, the other band members see the look and physically wither away from her trying to not get caught in her stare. "Darren plays the guitar, Jayjay plays the drums, Loons plays the piano when Sean's playing bass, they sometimes switch off."

Rivea shakes the hand politely then lets her hand fall, with no apparent interest or disinterest on her features. "Nice meeting you, all of you. You guys play pretty good. Sean has some good partners.

"Thanks Riv, we're all sort of between bands at the moment so it's nice to have someone to jam with now and then. Sean's loft was always the best place for music, he picked this place for a reason." Jayjay says, the others seem to agree, Darren moves back seeming a little let down but he glances at Sean for a moment. There's obvious tension there. Peny asks, "What are you guys doing now?" Sean shrugs, "I don't know, any requests? Riv?"

Rivea says, "I've never been one to follow music, I don't actually have any favorite songs. Whatever Sean wants to play is fine with me"

"Play the fast one from earlier!" Peny says with glee, Sean blinks and eyes his sister, "How about we play the first one Peny heard. Guys?" And Sean turns around to speak with them. Peny takes Riv's arm to lead her back to the to the couch, "Sit with me? How've you been Riv? You should have seen the gig I was just at on Nubilus. Beautiful moon."

Rivea says, "Oh? One of your photo shoot things? I bet it was. I used to like watching the moon, starts when I'd go camping with my grandmother. Always nice out there. I've been good though, just training a lot. Haven't felt like working on the armor."

"Sean mentioned something about that, said you needed to get some lighter stuff just the mean while? I could help out, the advance I got on the commercials was a lot, like a lot a lot." Singing to five zeros behind a prime number a lot. Sean and the band start to get themselves ready.

Rivea sits back and prepares to listen. "OH that's nice of you to offer Peny, I don't want you spending your money on me though…not sure when or if I could ever pay you back, AND don't go saying I don't need to because I do and will….would. That's one of my things."

The band is starting to prep, there's been some confusion though so Sean goes to try and work it out with them. Peny smiles at Rivea, "Nonsense, besides… you would just give the armor back once yours is finished. Then I could sell it and get my money back. Win win situation I say." Finally Sean and the gang get prepped and ready. They start into their set playing a great song that's fast paced, the chorus:

I'm halfway gone and I'm on my way
And I'm feelin' feelin' feelin' this way
'Cause you're halfway in, but don't take too long
'Cause I'm halfway gone, I'm halfway gone

Rivea listens, a foot absently tapping, settling back in her seat. "I think he should have been playing this stuff instead of what he did before. I know it surprised him when I said I didn't recognize this other him but what can you do. But I really never have following music. What can you do, huh? An the armor doesn't seem a fair deal because once its been used you wont get as much for it as it was before it was used."

The band finishes one song and start to play another, This one is a sadder song. The tempo slower and more desperate sounding, longing and achy. Sean's voice still has that rasp but the need in his tone makes it that much more heartfelt and wanting. Peny smiles at Rivea, "Sean can do something with it, make it into something new and then sell it for more that it would be worth. Honestly, I don't want you to have to wait around into your armor is done, that could take you both a lot of time to make. Especially if you two have to fit dating into your already busy schedules." her tone at the end is a little teasing. The chorus of the song picks up,

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart, that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning

Rivea says, "Yes, well, I still feel funny about it is all I'm saying. And he said we'd fit it in like we always do, when we have time. YOU need to stop trying to steam roll people into what you want for Sean and let him start doing things more for himself. He's never going to be able to work past all his other troubles until he starts taking more responsibility for himself and what he does without someone he falls back on when things go wrong. And, get mad at me or not, you need to do the same thing."

That catches Peny off guard, and it shows. She blinks owlishly for a few minutes then looks at Rivea, before looking at Sean. She sighs softly, "Because I pressured you two so much… yeah." Peny looks wistful now, she looks away before looking back, "He's always been there for me, always. No matter how many times I did something he said not to do… no matter how many times I ended up fucked over by some loser asshole, Sean always came to me and made me feel better. I just wanted to try and help him in return, so I've kept nagging him to bring up my offer for the armor, try and help you and him. I'm sorry." The band is still playing the same sad song.

Rivea sighs, as usual speaking bluntly gets her in trouble, though thankfully lately, the social suicide she's been dreading hasn't happened so, that's a plus. "I understand that. But, you, like him oh, no matter what I say it's not going to come out right. You both can lean on each other and talk to each other about your problems just not fall back on other things to make you forget them. That's all I'm saying. I like you both, you're great friends, but you guys are pushy."

Peny smiles at Riv and pats her arm, "It's a bad habit from the whole being famous part of our lives. If you're not a squeaky wheel, then you won't make it big." The band finishes their set and a couple of them announce they need to bail, something coming up in the morning. So they call it and the other band members head out. Sean joins Peny and Riv on the couch, he smiles at Riv. "I'll walk you home unless you'd like to stay here tonight."

Rivea says, "No I need to head home….early rising and practice at the Citadel"

Sean nods, and helps her up. Taking her hand Sean waves goodbye to Peny and will walk Rivea all that way to her house before heading back himself. Taking a swing by the Siren to check for a new weekly schedule, then home to the loft.

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