04.06.3014: Best Friends
Summary: Brienne and Canis, have a long overdue talk and come out the better for it.
Date: 18-12-2013
Related: None
Brienne Canis 

The Observatory
Room description
April 6, 3014

It's mid-day and the weather is very nice the sun shines down and warms everything and the wild life and things are coming back to life or turning green. The Observatory is a good place to see this in action and so people come and go not to mention those who are working or researching here. One of those who's coming here is Canis though it seems he's looking for someone after sending a message after his leaving the party. He pauses looking about before taking a few more steps towards the meeting spot.

After getting the message, Brienne had contemplated the wisdom of answering it, especially after last night. She does manage to send affirmation that she would be there at the designated time and the designated place. Her hair is still braided, but this time there's a ribbon that just matches the color of her eyes laced through the braid, giving her a softer look than usual. To contradict that as much as she can, she is wearing her usual tunic, pants and boots, playing down anything about herself, as she always does. With her hands shoved in her pockets, she looks less than her usually confident self as she approaches.

Canis turns back as he reaches the spot looking out a moment before he turns back towards the entrance. He spots the one he'd come to see approaching and looks over her getting an idea of her mood if he can which seems uneasy which matches his own but why is that exactly he's already made this decision now it's just simple right? He will speak when she's close enough. "Hello, Brie." he greets easily a smile coming to his face as he reaches the ribbons which he enjoys seeing.

He's got her off her guard and uncertain.. or she has herself in that condition anyway. When she reaches him, she pulls her hands from her pocket and bows her head awkwardly. "Hello, Canis." At least she had dropped the Sir again. Her own smile is tentative, but cautious, guarded probably. "I'm sorry Keanen put you in that position last night."

The knight returns the nod but he's glad he's called his first name once more. Canis returns the smile but shakes his head "I am glad he invited me, I wanted to visit anyways." he responds to the other "Well maybe the truth or dare game was a bit much, but it's not why I left. I had to teach the Lil' blades class this next morning and too many ales, well i've done that before and it wasn't much fun." he says explaining "I think that my achilles heel struck last night in that I was not saying one thing but sounding like another."

"I'm glad you came then. I guess everyone enjoyed themselves." There's a nod at the truth or dare game mention and she remembers Lorelei. And Canis. Dragging her gaze from him, she walks over a few steps to a large window and presses a hand flat against the glass. "It was probably smart you left when you did. We stopped the game when Pan arrived so Lorelei could speak with him." After a short silence, she speaks again, still not turning back to look at him. "I wanted to tell you again, I was sorry. I've discovered several things about myself. Some is good, some not so good."

Canis nods "I am quite glad that I did." He says watching as she moves he'll take only a couple steps to follow the other. He is listening even though she's got her back to him for the moment knowing it may be easier for her which is what he wants. "I dont think you have anything to be sorry for Brie, I meant it last night, i'm still here." he says though he pauses before asking curiously. "What did you learn?"

When he follows her, Brienne feels him behind her, but she doesn't look back. Her gaze is settled on the view outside the Observatory. "Oh, I do, Canis. I do. I love Arborenin woods.. my home, everything here. I was afraid of so many things I couldn't even begin to comprehend. One was staying here forever and this being all I'd ever have. Nothing more in my life, just the woods and the trees. I don't know why that panicked me, but it did." She doesn't add more immediately, but continues looking out."

He is listening and watching closely for her to speak. Canis is concerned for the other taking this all onto herself. Her words make sense to him though and he nods still listening he'll ponder his words a moment before listening. "You told me once, that when you got back from squiring in the Vale, that family had changed but you also had changed. You'd seen the same as me a different way of life you lived that way. How could it not change us? You live in both worlds at the same time it's enough to make you panic losing either-self." he is silent "When I spoke to your brother to set the record straight he said I should be upset with you, but I truly am not."

Brienne stiffens at the words of her brother, the hand splayed on the glass closing into a fist on the smooth surface. "Declan." The word is spoken with utter calm. "Will say as he wishes. He is not my keeper and I am relieved he is not yours." Dropping her hands to her side, she forces herself to relax by degrees until her posture is no longer stiff. "I had always assumed I would marry into Cindravale, that Phylon would be my home again one day. I only recently found out my mother had been trying to set a match with me all along with Advent Sauveur without my knowledge. He was sent here to get to know me, to spend time with me. I most often declined his advances, but.." She turns to face him. "Tristan adores Lady Firia Sauveur, so as soon as I discovered that, I stopped spending any time with him not wishing to encourage any feelings to grow for him, or him or me. I suppose I was too late. He was rather upset.. but I am fiercely protective of my younger brothers and their happiness means more to me than anything else. Even my own.." She once more hesitates there.

Canis winces at the response to her brother figuring something was said, but perhaps that is for another time. "No he is not, unless you ask it, i'm not going to avoid you." The valen knight seems sure on this point but is silent while she speaks further about his eyes arching up the news about the third knight and things make a bit more sense as someone had to speak up and cause the backlash. "I didnt know about Lord Advent I should have realized perhaps." but he shakes his head "You deserve to be happy as much as anyone but you are noble to help your family. Lord Tristan seems like a good guy."

Lifting green eyes to his, Brienne sighs, somewhat unhappily. "And then there was you, with your smile, your laugh, your charm… your kisses. Spending time with you, becoming friends first, out sailing, having a picnic, playing at the carnival with Lexi, hanging out in Motts. Everything was perfect. And then I realized you felt more and I felt like a failure for being too weak to hold you at a distance. I knew I shouldn't be spending time with you, but I couldn't say no. I didn't even want to. You were my best friend, and then you were more. Your confession scared me. I don't blame you, I blame myself, because I should have just.. I should have said yes." She lifts a hand, shaking her head, "I don't say that lightly." Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans a shoulder against the window now, looking away again. "And then there was Kieran.." Another pause, but she is determined to explain to him what she could never explain to anyone else. Not her brothers, her mother, even Advent or Kieran.

Meeting her eyes as she looks the unhappy sigh though gets a confused look though the things she says are some of his happiest recent memories all but being turned down on his proposal which wasn't but he understood. "You say, were like we cannot be now?" he says keeping his eyes focused on her though emotions are not as hideable there fear of her answer to this maybe. The words about her saying yes gives him a rueful smile "I should have done things the right way, if you said yes and I wanted you to and our parents didnt agree what then?" he says this only came to him much after the fact. He looks curious once more at the other name "You can say anything really i'd rather know."

Kieran was, at first, a way out. I went almost right away to see his lands. The coasts, the cliffs, the extremes, answered something inside of me. It was very rough and untamed land what I saw and it was beautiful. And he was a Young Lord. I would have to leave my home and go there. As I said, it was like that at first. Then.. he said the right things, did the right things, the compliments, the way he was just so blunt about everything. Everyone in my life had always been so afraid of approaching truths with me, just telling me what they wanted, what they were thinking, and he never held back the punches. So… I spent time with him and.. you know what happened. I told you what happened.. and yet you said you would forgive me even so, and asked again to write a letter to my mother. How could I let you then? I went to see Kieran once more, the night after seeing you, after he had requested a match and it had been declined. In the moment, just losing the dream of moving there, losing what I had thought I shared with him.. I don't know, I was almost desperate to hold on to something or someone. And then the news broke and I lost everything. I have not seen him since, except in the same battle I was with you in. Nor have I sought him. I realized what I thought was love, was me being selfish. I'd never felt love, so I didn't know what it was." Once more she hesitates… afraid of what she will see when she looks back at him. Not hurt.. not disappointment.. but indifference.

Canis is listening still looking over the other now wishing to break contact with the other. The new information brings things to light kind of like puzzle pieces. She will find when she looks back to him that same look in his eyes he's held for quite sometime now he is silent before speaking to gather what to say. "I didnt know you'd wanted that life, Brie but I can see why and i'm so inexperienced." he shakes his head looking her direct once more "That day I wanted to say everything that needed to be, but I wasn't saying things just because I thought you'd want me to. I meant every word." he says the news about going to see the other one last time. "You will get tired of me saying this, but I will continue to do so until you believe me. I am not angry with you I never have been I just wish to be whatever you will allow me to be to you."

Brie studies him a long moment, his expression, the reassurances.. "I didn't want that life. I just didn't want the one I had. Or so I thought.. now I have reconsidered after losing my friends and some of my family. I love Keanen and I love Tristan. I even love Declan and the others, but I'm not close to the other three like I am Keanen and Tris. I should have listened to them and I know where I messed up and last night.. last night when Lorelei.. she kissed you." Shoving her hands back in her pockets she looks back out the window. "I'm sorry. Of all people, who am I to protest? Only then did I find out how much I lost. I lost the right to do as Keanen and Evey did. Something I had before and never even knew was right in front of me. You were there, steady and strong. Solid and giving. I took it all for granted and then I lost you. There won't ever be a time we'll be in my apartment any longer and I can sit beside you on my couch and hold your hand, drop a kiss on your lips, touch your face and look into your eyes. I can't even kiss your cheek. You're my best friend even still, but I realized too late that you're so much more." Now she leans her forehead against the window, a sigh shuddering through her. "I am sorry, Canis. For everything. Most of all for hurting you and for being blind and realizing much, much too late."

The knight nods to the first part of her words "We're human, and our brains and hearts want what they do." Canis says about the life changes she'd felt before. "I was shocked as anyone that that happened." about the kiss to his cheek. He is quiet listening to her words but each of them hurts a future he wants or wanted confusion back and forth going through his face his eyes he must drop them as they shine watering tears. He has been able to hold himself together thus far but is close to his edge. "That future, I thought so many times of it.." he shakes his head "Is it lost to us? this might be more to himself but is outloud. "If it is, it's all the more important to me that we're best friends. That was always an important part of it. To me."

"Canis.." Brie begins, lifting her head from the window to turn and face him now. Seeing the shine of his eyes, she lifts a hand to gently touch his cheek, but hesitantly lowers it before she can make contact. Pain fills her eyes at what she had caused him. "I'm sorry.." Her voice is hoarse as the words are uttered. Torturing herself, she forces herself to look at him and see the pain she had caused him. "You deserve so much better than me, Canis… I wish.. I wish I was good enough for you, I would say to send a letter to anyone you had to, just to make it happen. You're my best friend and I want so much more for you."

Canis turns slightly as her hand falls not touching him. He will wait to wipe his eyes though he's trying to pull himself back into shape, it's hard to say if he does well. He will look to her as she speaks but shakes his head lightly "You are good enough for anyone, please don't be sorry or so hard on yourself. Hearing what you've said it makes all the difference to me." he will wipe his eyes before speaking further. "We're best friends. It means we can still hang out and go sailing and talk to each other about anything and have someone to lean on." he says looking her direct in the eyes.

Brienne can't resist.. she just can't. Even after he has wiped his own eyes, she lifts her hand again and trails her thumb gently over his cheek, her eyes meeting his. "Best friends," she whispers softly. "Can we? Go sailing? Can we still meet at Mott's for a drink and just be goofy whenever we want to? Maybe go to the pond in the Arborenin woods and have a swim sometime? I just want to spend time with you again. Even with Lexie, go to the carnival too."

Is still when she reaches out and brushes the tears which escaped from his eyes there. It's a soft smile at first but it grows and Canis nods to her words. "Yes Brie, I would like nothing more then to hang out with you again i'll teach you to sail, we can swim. You can help me teach the lil' blades sometime. Your probably better with the sword than I am anyways." he smiles regaining composure and a bright look on things.

Finally, Brienne lowers her hand and offers a tentative smile. "I would like that very much, then. To spend time together again, swimming, sailing, anything. I could help teach lil' blades too, anytime you'd like for me to." Seeing his smile after the tears, she has to smile more fully now too.

Canis waits to see if he will see the smile which he knows well, when he does he cannot help but grin over to her. "Absolutely, not to mention unstopable on patrols and anything else." he agrees with her though adding "Absolutely I think you'll like the lil' blades it's the youngest class my family offers." he explains the class a little bit

"I would like that. You know how to contact me on my datapad so please, anytime you want, let me know I can meet you anywhere." Brienne's smile comes more easily than it has in a really long time and she offers him an impulsive hug. "Thank you, Canis.. thank you. I'll never let you down again, I promise." And since they both probably have to go, the hug is brief and her braid falls over her shoulder reminding her it was even there. She blushes and tugs at the green ribbon.. "See you later, my friend."

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