An Inclination
Summary: Brienne submits another request to her mother.
Date: 7 May 3014
Related: None
Brienne Eryn 


7 May 3014, via letter


Dear Mother,

I heard of your recent rejection to Lord Advent and was dismayed to hear it until I was reminded of the letter I sent to you. Mother, I went to the Palace Tower and I asked him to marry me. You instructed me to make amends with Sauveur and I did that very thing. I would like it to continue. He is a good and honorable man and were he my husband, I know I could be more than I ever was. I only realized tonight, after questioning from his sister, Lyrienne, that I had feelings for him. I didn't even know I could feel anything for anyone who wasn't family… but I discovered I do. Sir Ellinor mentioned matching me with Sir Kassandra Cindravale, though I'm truly not sure how she would arrange any matches for me since she is not family and she is not Valen. Perhaps she was only attempting to get my focus off her brother. I.. have never understood myself more than I do now, and I would like to explore this new knowledge.

Thank you for considering, mother.

Brienne


Brienne,

This letter has been a while in the writing, as I have been distracted by work, and I felt it required more of my attention than I was capable of giving until this moment. Brienne, I realize that you are a sweet woman who is oft lead by her heart, and so I have had to keep reminding myself while dealing with these troublesome issues. That being said, I feel it is important I spell out the duties of a lady, especially of your generation of ladies, as though I understand you do not have a knack for diplomacy, there are still some rules to be followed:

While romance is a wonderful thing, it is not to be made the pinnacle of your existence.

I have denied Lord Advent because the time is not ripe for a marriage. Marriage, while existing to strengthen political bonds, cannot be done hastily in reparation for damage. That must come with time, and it must be approached with a particular delicacy. It is not your right, regrettably, to make proposals without my permission - or to make proposals at all, as it were. That is part of my job as both the Head of our House and also as your mother. Please understand that if you express your interest to me, but I have advised you to stay your hand as well as mine, then there are very specific reasons for this.

Now, perhaps Sir Ellinor was attempting to employ some tactic to distract you from what would inevitably be a denial, or perhaps she is not eager to see her brother betrothed to an Arboren. It is not her place to decide this, however, so it matters not to me - and it should not matter to you - what connections she may be entertaining. I will not be treating with her when it comes to the matter of your betrothal, be it to a Sauveur or someone else. So do put this matter from your mind.

As to the rest, I implore you to see reason in this situation. Now is not the time for plunging into dizzying paramour, but instead to be turning our attention to matters that are of more import: our safety, the safety of our citizens, the maintenance of our lands, the growth of our people, and the survival of this looming war. For if you believe you have seen war, I would beg to differ: we have barely scratched the surface of this conflict with the Fifth Worlders.

In the meantime, should an advantageous match arrive, you will be the first to whom I speak of it. Always am I keeping an eye open to future marriage possibilities, but these options will continue to disappear if you do not start conducting yourself more like a lady. I know you have been raised with a better sense of tact than you have been employing, and I ask that you take a step back and consider from my point of view the ill effect your behavior has had on your potential. For now we must, as they say, "let a sleeping dog lie", and in the meantime I think you will find that by not focusing on love, you will find it when you least expect it — and when the timing is far better.

I am your mother and shall always love you, even if loving you requires that I be firm and strict.

Love,

Mother


May 21, 3014

Mother,

Once more you prove to be the wisest in these decisions. I found in the heat of the moment, when I am weakest, I believe things about myself that simply are not true. I believe the word I am seeking was desperation. I wanted to repair things so I forced things between two people that were not true. Neither of us loved the other and everyone could see it. Even he has moved on and we both are the better for it. Of course I have put myself in an awkward position between the two people who meant a lot to me, friendship-wise, but I hope in time that too will pass.

I am not seeking a match now, as you say, I have more important things to do. I am, however, making contact with my past so I can remember who I was and all I aspired to be and build myself up from there. I must concentrate on respecting myself again before anyone else can do it as well. I lost myself somewhere along the way, but I am determined there is still part of me there to draw upon. It has come to a point that not only do I not respect myself and my personal life, I do not even like who I have become.

As a Knight, I have not suffered, nor will I. It is what I am and always will be. I will do as you say and fight for the safety of my home, my House and all of the Spine as well as assisting where needed within the other Houses. Thank you mother, for declining the matches and for knowing me better than I know even myself. I do hope you expect more from me in the future, for I will give you nothing less than my very best.

Love,

Brienne

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